Five reasons why it is okay to have routines

I have been called rigid and inflexible. I have been told I am not spontaneous. I often ask about the "plan" and am not always comfortable if there isn't one. I like to have a routine. And there's nothing wrong with that.

The results of a 50-year study published by the American Psychological Association's (APA) Journal of Family Psychology show that routines are important to the health and well-being of busy families.

"Routines involve instrumental communication conveying information that 'this is what needs to be done' and involve a momentary time commitment so that once the act is completed, there is little, if any, afterthought," says Dr. Fiese. I couldn't have said it better myself! Routines can include dinnertime, bedtime, chores and all the other nitty-gritty aspects of running a home.

For me, routines...
1. ...keep me from forgetting things. It's early, I'm sleepy and it's time to get ready for work. If I didn't have a morning routine, I would probably forget my deodorant on a regular basis.
2. ...make me more efficient. There are steps involved in each routine, which I have developed to get the job done quicker. That means I can move on to the next thing faster than if I approached the job haphazardly.
3. ...help me stay organized. The Bob may tease me about everything having a certain "home," but this is part of the routine. If my socks are all lined up by color, I don't waste 5 minutes a day looking for a pair that match.
4. ...make me feel competent. Working 40+ hours a week and trying to run a home isn't always easy. Routines at home help me feel like I'm doing as good a job with the "home ec" as I am with my paying gig.
5. ...are comforting. There is a certain comfort in routines. For example, I know that almost every day we are going to sit down to dinner together, spend time talking about our day, clean up the dinner dishes together and then settle down for the evening. It feels like nothing is spinning out of control, and that's a good thing.

Here's my disclaimer. Routines are just constructs, providing structure to our activities of daily living. If they start to take the place of people, they may have become obessions and it's probably time to rethink them.

My routines are important to me despite the occasional teasing I get. If you haven't developed your own routines, start with something simple – like your morning routine. Try thinking through the things that need done and do those things in the same way every day for a week. I think you'll find that you get a lot of satisfaction, and chances are, you won't forget your deodorant!